Are you there Mom? Its me. 

Today began with a brutal wake up call. We were yanked by our hair from our sleeping bags at 2:00 AM, before the sun could rear its ugly head. We were forced to see the sunrise. It was not worth it. Next, we were tasked with catching fish for breakfast, but were unsuccessful. Therefore we were left starving until lunch. 

After, we were herded into a bus. Picture this: no air conditioning, 11 sweaty teenagers, 2 oppressive facilitators, and no seats. This vehicle was not a bus, but a time machine in disguise. We were ejected into the year 2050 and forced to solve an impossible case. Someone had polluted the water with Chemical X. Many were presumed to be guilty, but most perished with clean records. In the end, our own time travel machine pilot was the culprit. 

Once again we were told to fish for food, now in the chemical polluted river. This time we were successful. Our catch gave us small fishlike creatures with three eyes and seven fins. That was our food, small but mighty. The runts(freshmen) of our litter all succumbed to our contaminated meal. Us survivors are also now glow in the dark. 

With the same murderous time travel pilot, we were transported back to 2024 and were treated by Ms. Rabiah, the medicine woman. Thank god for plantain oil and jewelweed. 

After our meeting with the magical river healer, we headed back to our lodging, only to learn that we had no access to our previous air conditioned abode. With tears in our eyes, we set up camp, and fed on the rest of our mutant catch, crabs this time. We snapped them open, letting our animalistic instincts take the wheel. Crab remains were flying everywhere, killing two campers. Our cruel facilitators tried to humiliate us more by creating a band called Crab Shrapnel. It wasn't that bad until they released their number 1 hit, Under My Gums. We had to slap ourselves with tortillas to make them stop. 

All in all, today was hard. We are anticipating your arrival. You're coming right???        

As we awoke from our slumber to a beautiful sunrise in the glorious AC, (I know, you wish you were us) we slowly worked up the courage to face the heat. We boarded a mini yacht to investigate life out in the marsh with the Lorax of the Patuxent river. For those of you who dont know, this man is a big fan of the River, for breakfast he had a cup of swamp water and a slice of spatterdock. # scrumpdiddlyumptious When we traveled to go take a peek at an osprey nest we spied a family. We deemed the mother unworthy and stole the baby bird from its nest. We then totally 100% did NOT knock the home down on purpose...ish. As the CPS ( Chick Protective Services ) we went on a hunt for a new home. Along the way, the little osprey took a couple potty breaks in a  luxorious toilet, a.k.a.Abby Vidulich. We also learned about like a rice plant that was in danger or something, blah . . blah . . blah. As we returned from our visit on the esturary ( basically like if a salty water and not salty water had a baby ) we took some water samples to determine exactly how sick we were going to get from swi -"dude were not supposed to call it that" I mean therapeutic cooling. We later traveled on to find the beavers, however Jai and Abby`s (and maybe Lincoln) non-stop bickering/vocal chord testing scared them all away. Later, during *cough cough* therapeutic cooling, we witnessed several gruesome murders during a wild game of river mafia. Tobias "unfortunately" got strangled by the wild rice. As we settled in for the night, in our air conditioned white house, we enjoyed black been tacos. Even though it wasn't Tuesday. Some campers went out to buy nose plugs in fear of an explosive night. 

​The sun was not merciful today. Ra lost a bet and was pretty sad so a few of our soldiers were lost at sea because of sun fairies attacking them. It was hard to watch as they burnt to a crisp and were eaten by piranhas. We caught the tail-end of the ultimate showdown between an eagle and a beaver. As we drifted past the carcass of that poor fuzzy friend, we saw that the water striders  wasted no time making use of the free meal. After paying me six pence, a good arachnid friend of mine hopped on my canoe for a ferry ride down the river. I gave him a cookie for his journey back home.
​Because of our soldiers going mad from the heat (and scurvy) a war broke out on the river with water guns until we managed to make it ashore and make peace and break bread.
While we all cooled off inside, we played enough Mafia to make a short Netflix series about crime organizations. We broke enough bread to make it out the woods. Later we took a tour of a historic cabin, which gave us the feeling of not having air conditioning in a house with doors being so short you hit your head every time you enter. Upon learning about dentistry methods from older America, we realized we have a lot more connections to ancient medieval culture than one would expect; back when you had a toothache, the solution was a pair of pliers and a hot metal stick.
​Now, back in the splendor of our air conditioned penthouse, we're eating lavishly: grilled cheese on the menu for tonight. Not to mention, we've hired a celebrity (Moth Mama) to grace us this fine evening. Bill not lookin' too hot... might be back in the woods tomorrow.

​Hello parents. the day began with the us arriving at the visitor center (some getting a bit lost along the way) we were met with personality tests to see how we would interact. Some of us found the results insulting and others did not. The majority of us ended up being introverts, which should make this week interesting. 

Once we got to know each other we got into the water for the first time and practiced our canooing skills which will be useful tomorrow. We traversed the harsh environment of the Patuxent when suddenly a harsh wind blew in and capsized all of our vessels, thus we were forced to practice re-mounting our aquatic stallions. Unfortunately two of our compatriots had perished in the commotion. We ended up returning to our starting location with heavy hearts, and got on the bus to go to the next camping location.

At the campsite we were forced to do battle with our shelters under a ticking time limit. None succeeded. As of the creation of this document we have not consumed sustenance since lunch and are unsure of our next meal. 

With love,
​Your "Happy" Campers

Paddlers! We can't wait to meet you on Monday. -Olivia, Coreen, Trystan, Chris & Matt